It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Date: 17 November 2008
Category: NFL
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After his performance against my Bengals, I think it’s safe to say that [10 year veteran] Eagles QB, #5 Donovan McNabb, has been watching a bit too much of the hilarious FX sitcom, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Donovan, Charlie is a fictional character. You cannot huff that much paint and glue and still perform on Sundays.

I have always wondered why McNabb was such a belligerent racist, and now, with the revelation that he didn’t know an NFL game could end in a tie (Yo, Donovan, you played against the Falcons in the playoffs a few years back…they had a tie on their record…didn’t you wonder what that 9-6-1 thing meant?), I see the man in a whole new light.

He has irreversible brain damage from his constant use of inhalants. It also accounts for his lack of stamina. Those lungs are so full of sticky spray paint that it’s impossible for them to transfer oxygen into the bloodstream for a full 4 quarters, and when you toss a 5th into the mix, it’s over.

So, finally, we know why McNabb is such a louse.

With that in mind, the season finale is on this week, featuring an entire musical dedicated to Day Man. All you Eagle fans should consider this a terrible sign as they head into face Baltimore’s tough Defense coming off a loss to the Giants.

Now that we have the key to McNabb’s failures, we need to turn the spotlight onto two other Superstar morons: LaDainian Tomlinson and Ray Lewis.

…to be continued…

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