Wake up Kellogg

Date: 05 February 2009
Category: Advertising, FOOD, NEW
Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,

How ridiculous is it that Kellogg plans to drop Michael Phelps after his bong smoking picture appeared online. I mean, come on…who doesn’t have photos of themselves ripping their favorite water pipe floating around the internet?

Seriously though, Kellogg should probably re-evaluate their customer base, because I’m guessing a large percentage of that cereal isn’t eaten in the morning, but somewhere closer to 4:20pm.

It’s great timing for their PR machine though…having just been lumped in with the other salmonella laced peanut-butter product producers, they needed something like this to help show the mom’s of the world that little Jimmy’s Frosted Flakes aren’t a gateway to¬† the ol’ wake n’ bake.

Don’t get me wrong, Michael Phelps is one of the world’s biggest douche-nozzles. To me, he’s nothing more than a big retarded monkey that swims. Most people are amazed when they see a monkey swim…so it’s not surprising that he’s a popular monkey swimmer, but let’s get real…he’s swims. Fucking get over it already.

Hey Monkey Swimmer! Why don’t you pull your head out of your ass and STICK UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN. You shouldn’t fucking be rich anyway…you chose to SWIM with your life. Do something for the world other than move through fucking liquid horizontally. If you like to smoke pot, DON’T BE SORRY. It’s people like you that make this world a fucking disaster. Stand up for yourself and tell the world that it’s THEM that should be sorry…for giving a fuck what you want to do in your spare time. Tell the world that the marijuana laws are based on bullshit…do SOMETHING.

Instead, you chose to be a baby bitch and tried to swallow your wallet before your sponsors could pull their checks out of it. For THAT, I applaud Kellogg.

I only wish they dropped you for apologizing…

…now, back to my Cocoa Pebbles.

2 responses to Wake up Kellogg

  • Dr. JJK says:

    I hated Phelps from the beginning, so I concur with Dr. Edwards on that front.

    although now it is apparent that he smokes the wonderful sprout created from gods secret stash, he is like 0.00000003 % cooler.

    but still a douche nozzle.

    go win a bronze my hardly entertaining retarded monkey. hahah phelps sucks so much

  • iceman says:

    genius rant, i couldnt agree more