This season of American Idol is shaping up to be a heaping pile of smelly shit. Let’s watch this mess together!
I missed the first few performances…these guys: Jackie Tohn, Ricky Braddy, Alexis Grace, Brent Keith
NOTES: What’s up with that shiny lame ass microphone they’re using? Bring back the Shure Beta. The big sweeping boom shots are overdone…like 5 times per contestant? We need a real director.
Stevie Wright (something by Taylor Swift): Holy Moly. That song is for 12 year olds. Bad performance of a kids song.
Anoop Desai (something soulful): Anoop Dogg in the house! I love it, I just wish he was Kumar from HOUSE.
Casey Carlson (Every Little Thing You Do… by The Police): Holy fuck. Absolutely terrible. Stupid faces, horrible voice. It really doesn’t get any worse. Her mom sucks bigtime too.
Michael Sarver (I Don’t Wanna Be by Gavin DeGraw): What is going on here? Another god awful performance. Not as bad as the first 3, but pretty fucking bad.
Ann Marie Boskovich (You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman): Too fucking slow. Painfully slow. So far, the best vocal, but the song choice and more specifically, the arrangement was terrible. (Best part was when she went to sit next to Seacrest and her mom after her performance, she said she sat on the hard part….then she said she meant the big piece of wood…Seacrest couldn’t contain himself and had to cut away)
Stephen Fowler (Rock With Me by Michael Jackson): Lack of something…charisma? Flat I think too. Not memorable IMO.
Tatiana “Psycho” Del Toro (Saving All My Love For You by Whitney Houston): When will these chicks learn? Boooooooring white girl version of the song. Oh man, at the end, she really went south. The whole last verse was really bad. I was hoping for more of a train wreck…maybe next week.
Danny Gokey (Hero by Mariah Carey): Chiiiiick song! Dude. I mean he has a kind of smokey voice and he has good pitch, but he’s not great. Probably the best of the night, but that’s not saying much.